How to Beat Your Toughest Opponent by Lizl Kotz
Going back in time to the mid-80’s. Rocky IV. Some would say that Ivan Drago, the Siberian Bull, standing at 6’6” and weighing in at 261 pounds was Rocky’s Balboa’s toughest opponent. Rocky himself would answer that his toughest opponent isn’t Ivan, but the person staring back at him in the mirror.
I agree with the belief that what ends up holding most of us back are our own thoughts and not our circumstances. The mind of a champion is a way of thinking. This way of thinking is not focused on the win yet gives us the win. This way of thinking is a trained skill and not innate. Having a healthy thought life is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves and mind-management is in fact a technique that can be and should be trained until it becomes habitual.
Having been around intense competition for as long as I can remember, I know that to compete with freedom (free from fear), is the ultimate prize any athlete can hope for. When we drop our fear, we have full access to our talents and skills. We are pre-wired for excellence in our own unique area. How do we know this? Think back to doing your favorite thing as a child. None of us choked while playing wiffle ball in the backyard or while belting out a song in front of close friends at a party. We performed our best because passion crowded out fear and expectation. How do we drop the fear in order to have full access to our talents and skills? How do we allow our passion to crowd out crippling expectations again? Below are three strategies to manage performance anxiety. These strategies are universal to anyone facing a challenge.
1. Mindset Shift
We live in a country filled with opportunities. Opportunity and pressure walk along closely. Although, when we think about pressure as a privilege, pressure should feel motivating instead of crippling. Shifting our mindset sounds simple and it is, but it requires strong awareness of our faulty thoughts followed by practice and patience while our new thought patterns take root. Below are 6 methods to help achieve a mindset shift.
Learn to love the process of growing as a performer. Our mind thrives on contrast, growth and expansion. As much as winning all of the time sounds amazing, it is not sustainable and it is not what is needed to improve. Champions who stay on top, see their result as just a result to gather information from. They have developed the discipline to control any excess emotion and treat their performance very much like a business transaction. When we fall in love with the process of small incremental improvements, we put ourselves in a position to want to keep improving without risking burnout.
Detach your self-worth from your performance. Winning or losing is NEVER a reflection of who we are, it is simply a result. A win or a great theater performance provides enormous satisfaction but it’s short-lived. Instead, the process of setting goals, preparing and competing is where the lasting satisfaction lies.
Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes. Competing with thoughts of “I can’t make a mistake” is a sure way to play tight and make more mistakes. Tell yourself: “I am out here doing my best, I am human and I am allowed to make mistakes.” This shift in thinking relieves anxiety greatly which will result in an improved performance.
Remove “I should” statements. These statements create unproductive worry and prevent us from staying in the moment. Performance does not care about who won last year, who will win next month or who has a better ranking on paper. It is only concerned with the present moment. Replace “I should beat….” statements with: “I want to run an excellent race and these are my strengths, weaknesses and this is my game plan…….”
Cultivate feelings of gratitude. There is evidence that feelings of gratitude can lower tension levels. Successful athletes create good feelings out of thin air because they know good feelings lead to good results. In order to feel grateful, you have to adopt a big-picture view. Find something to feel grateful for even if you have to fake it-it still works.
Who is your source of validation? Most of us feel safe when we feel validated and accepted. This may stem back to years ago when belonging to the biggest tribe meant survival. Many of the athletes I talk to have an innate fear of disappointing their “tribe”. The thought of disappointing someone makes us hit the panic button-we feel unsafe. We stop breathing, our muscles co-contract making movement rigid and blood and energy leaves the brain. Our performance suffers. Our biggest source of validation should come from our Creator first, then ourselves, and lastly the people we carefully invite into our inner circle. Surround yourself with people who are for you regardless of your performance.
2. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
Negative thoughts remind me of malignant cancer cells. The National Cancer Institute defines malignant cancer cells as cells that divide and grow uncontrollably and invade nearby tissues. Similar to these cancer cells, negative thoughts start small and at first do not cause much damage. In fact, negative thinking initially can be hard to detect . And because we don’t usually recognize negative thoughts for what they truly are in the early stages, we tend to feed them by paying attention to them, allowing them to grow and spread much like cancer cells. Before we know it, our entire mindset is a web of negative twisted thoughts, causing anxiety and making us and the people around us miserable.
The strategy of noticing a negative thought and replacing it with a positive thought may seem like a pointless game at first but it does lead to improved performance. It also demonstrates the power we have over our thoughts. Instead of, “my nerves are going to be the end of me”, think “I can feel my body preparing for this opportunity.” Instead of, “I sense he/she doesn’t like me” think, “I can improve this relationship if I choose to”. Visualize the positive thought. Visualize the good result. Athletes who visualize claim it to be one of their most powerful tools.
3. Stay Locked in the Moment
Anxious thoughts are birthed when we play movies in our mind about worrisome past or future events. These types of thoughts are typically twisted and not based on fact. Be very proactive about redirecting your thoughts when they wander into the future or try to replay a negative past event. One strategy that can manipulate our ability to stay present is to take four deep breaths (yes, it takes four to lower your heart rate) while acknowledging something we see, hear, smell and feel. For example, I catch myself ruminating about a poorly played point in a tennis match-my thoughts are in the past. These are my action steps: I see or speak the words “let it go.” Then, while taking four deep breaths, I hear the grunt of the player on the court next to me, I see the lines on the tennis ball in my hand, I squeeze the grip of my racket and I smell the sunscreen I applied to my arms earlier. I say the trigger word “commit.” I now am fully present, locked in and ready to focus only on the next point.
People talk a lot about training the physical body. What new supplement is Roger Federer taking, how many hours does Tom Brady sleep, what kind of altitude training is Michael Phelps doing? What is less talked about is what these athletes are doing to optimize their minds. How do they train to stay present, to stay composed and bounce back after set-backs? Athletes who stay on top have a healthy respect for the opponent between their own two ears and no doubt they train hard to beat him.